life's been a whirlwind since Os ended
started work, oh come visit at paragon thai express if u r free okay :D
then everyone started work,
meet dear dear everyday unless he chases me home :x
blahblahblahhh
been super tired cos work is really draining me out
but nvm at least get work experience bah
then pei ah k n dear they all chu shi...

my onli regret is im not meeting yushi they all...
i really miss them, all the jokes, the nonsense
it used to be an everyday affair
but i guess when our hearts belong to different people
some situations n circumstances just cant be avoided...

been feeling quite heart pain for dear dear cos of the sai guan stuff
is like i see him chu shi i can tell he super happy
i really wish i can do sth for him but i cant...
i can onli listen, try make him happy n not angry...

thou sometimes i really wish he belongs to me solely, i cant expect much
he really treat me very gd n care for me... i know this sounds like what im saying when i was wirth brian
but its a whole different story... its true...

dear dear
we tgether for 2 months plus le
every single moment spent is happiness
althou we quarrel, we fight, we ignore each other
but its okay cos in the end i know we mean alot to each other
i will use time to prove to u im the one...
i wont ask u to make a choice now, its too harsh cos u hv alot of burdens
i can wait, cos i know ur heart is true to me...
i love you... i cant wait for our third month :D
muacks baby


heidy is coming back tmr whoohoo
n oh oh my bdae is coming
but i dont think dear dear or anyone will celebrate for me bahh...
i dno... i just hope to be able to spend with the ppl i love...


okay i need to slp le. ltr still working ]:
byeeee

today i really learnt sth

ppl who hv 2 faces change their tone so fast
i shudnt be so trusting
i need to judge ppl as time pass n not give my all at first
once the damage is done, dont even think of steppin in pass my wall again

sisters will always be there, not guys
afterall all guys want is onli sex n nth else
sisters/Most friends are there when u need them

thankyou to yushi, liping n heidy,
yushi for nv forsaking me n always assuring n proving to me u'll always be there
u r really my best sister n i cld give up anth for u as long as its within my means
heidy for being ther n talking to me
we share quite a bit in common n it always is comforting to talk to u
u always encourage n support me de ty so much what would i do without u
liping for being there for me during this period of time
thou u wont see this but u this sister i really boh wei gong
u stupid ah lian, thanks alot for everything man, u r one sister tts so worth it

thank you sisters i love u ppl alot alot.

hubert
today i realised what i meant to u
i know cos of my mental state i put alot of pressure on u
i know i really gave u too much to handle when u hv alot on ur plate
i guess its over for now. i wont contact u de.. mayb aft my Os u will contact me i dno
but right now at this moment i hv had enough.
u hv proven enough to me and shown tt perhaps u dont love me enough?
its okay, thanks to u today i was strong. i did not cry when i deleted ur number n messages n changed my wallpaper
ive grown again so thank you.
i will keep the memories u gave me deep in my heart
i still love u but i guess we arent meant to be bah
mayb in future we will make more happy memories
but right now lets just lead our own lives. my current life is not going to hv u.
take care n all the best. i love u deardear.


ok im tired aft everth. Os is in a day n i can go eat shit alr.
no use crying over spilt milk, can onli do my best now.

shoutout to HC ppl: im missing u guys so so so so much. so many of u i wana see n give yall a hug. i'll see yall soon. promise.

baby!!dearr <3
thou recently we hv been quarrelling almost everyday
but i know its all alright when we make up
especially last night, when i was just abt to fall aslp,
u said to me u loved me. its times like tt i know its all worth
i love u so so so so much
i know u aren the best, i prob can find someone better
but ahhh i know u care n stuff n u always think for me
i promise i wont take fruit anymore, i will listen to u, i will onli drink if u r there, i will improve my attitude de.
i cant afford to lose u >< everytime i take fruit all my illusions are all abt u in trouble, i dream also abt losing u de ><
deardear wo ai ni! even if u dont read this its okayy!
i cant wait to see u tonight!! when i see u im gna give u a hug and tell u i love u!!

&btw HAPPY GRADUATION TO DEARDEAR<3, AH PING, PRIS, JUN GUANG :D

im missing u guys so so so much
im sry i cant come back for now
there's too many complications
but i promise i'll try to find some time out
sometimes when im in tpy i feel like going to find yall so much n give yall a hug.
sighh why hv things turn out like tt
no matter what, sisters/brothers always <3

yayy at macs now with friends.
today nv study la...die liao lor ><
nxt week on tues and thurs got sci practicals.
eh anyone got idea what happens during written practicals must tell me kays?

recently keep dreaming of very weird stuff
and all got to do with one person tmd
really hope wdv im worrying abt wont happen
ltr happen i can go n die whoohoo

ok mr chick wants to use the com. BYEBYE

i shall blog tmr.

history's repeating itself
onli tt making a different decision dont seem to hv a better outcome
im so tired of everth
but u mean sth to me alr
im just scared its the same scenario.

i dont know anymore.
but im not playing with u

hving to stick by my own decision..

tmr going to court
hope everth will be ok
19 aug will come really fast
hais feeling pretty down now..
not gna be used to it
stay happy bahs [:


closing this chapter in my life;hurts

i don wana be lame.
u want read my blog u read
i want read ur blog u oso cnnt stop me
go lock ur blog la -.-
irritating like hell/
dont disrupt my peaceful life

u dno how much it hurt my heart to see u like that
i could not help nor do anth to make u feel better
i wish i could hv done sth more so i wont be so useless
i will nv leave ur side no matter what happens
thou i cannt always be there physically but rest assured
i'll always be there emotionally and mentally.
birlydttyanwicya.

hey brig, thou u wont ever read this. dont sad le kayys!
im sry i cnnt help u oso. i just want u to know tt all of us always here.
wdv u asked me i do i will de la :D

i wont agree to it just for the sake of not being alone or wad not.
but sometimes i just want to cos it hurts a little more each time
i will just try n swallow it in but i cant do it tt well i guess..

oral down.
i hv no idea wth i was telling the examiner haha
owells go mee xD
n ive been feeling so tired recentl for no reason
this sucks i swear ><
no mattter how much i slp, no matter whether its alot or little bit
i still feel tired lors hais
met up with gwee for awhile today
did retarded things haha but i dont care la haha
hope u r feeling better dear
i love u many!!

i thought things thru
mayb im just being touchy and cranky
cos ive been really stressed up over things
i just need to relax n try hard
i'll make it thru bah

thanks yingci for the nice chat ytd
thanks joey for always supporting me :D
thanks ks for trying to console me haha!
THANKYOU EVERYONE FOR MAKING ME FEEL SO HAPPY WHEN I GO BACK. I LOVE U PPL!

N XINYU HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN. U RUINED MY CAKE ]:

im tired today
but the visit to hwachong did me wonders
thou i did cry n stuff our of frustration n stuff
it really did me good
to visit the ppl who were always there for me
n the thing is thou they r all busy n everth
i know for sure they are there rooting for me
tts the bond i hv with my friends there i guess
the surprised n happy smiles, the warm hugs.
i can nv ask for more..

HEY HC PPL
going back today made me realize how shagged everyone looks n stuff
pls take care of urselves okay? saddens me to see tt!
dont worry abt me if u are cos i can take care of myself i promise
love u ppl!!!

stead
i dont know whats going on anymore
u say i dont think much for u but im really trying
i dno what to do alr luhh
just want to say wdv happens
i love you. tt wont change

honestly speaking, u make me feel like puking sometimes.
really, like right now, i could most probably hurl at the thought

i honestly hv no idea how im supposed to feel towards you

dont think its you, unless u actl think tt u hv done sth. happy feeling guilty then

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


okay tts better

u know i reall hope ppl who hv no involvement in my life whatsoever dont read my blog
ppl who are added as friends on lj n ppl whom i know im okay with tt, m updates are for yall anw
but SOME ppl who i do not want any involvement nor who are of my concern pls just stay away
keep ur comments to urself as well even if u want to come here n read abt what i say
my blog, my stage, my space. fuck off if u not happy with what i say.dont even need to come here ty.

boii! i need to ask u sth :D

u always wondered why the 3 of us like to stick to u
i dont know about V but i guess for L and me,
we love you alot, we accept u for who u r, and we understand n accept ur teachings
n thou ur ways are diff from others, u do care for us and we know it.I know it.
the onli diff between L and me is tt she is totally receptive to u
m character is such tt im stubborn n i just wasnt tt "guai"

i choose to stay nxt to u cos i know u care, u make me feel very safe n loved
thou sometimes i dont agree, i choose to listen most of the time.
no one else can give me tt feelings tts why im still here..
but now, realizing tt it can no longer go on hurts alot.
it just makes me wish to see u, to look at u, even just for awhile.

do u rmb when u called me in kolkata n called me ur laopo last yr?
do u rmb how many msges u sent me telling me u missed me?
do u rmb telling me u thought i was cute aft reading the letters i wrote to u in kolkata?
do u rmb changing my msn pm when i lent u my com to "she is loved"?
do u rmb staying up to wait for me to touch down from the plane?
do u rmb leaving the letter on my com for me saying out ur feelings?
so many things u did for me..so many memories of everth
but i dont know if u ever rmb any one of them. but i do.

these 2 mths or so, i hv been learning to be independent n im succeeding.
not hving u, not hving yushi tt much to be with me, i survived thru it.
i really grew up alot these few months and everth thanks to u <3
this time, aft seeing it n feeling it for myself, i know its really really over.
this time im really burying all the memories and everth in my heart.

u are still the boiiboii and dear dear tt i love, to me u r always my laogong.
special place in my heart for u tt cnnt be removed.
in time to come when i hv other stead, they will hv to accept i cnnt cut off contact from u
u r no matter what, the guy, the one who i really and truly love.
u may hv brought me much pain n hurt but tt cnnt erase the happy times.

i love you as u know. and i'll alwas be here for u.
movin on is hard but i'll do it, cos i know u dont want me stuck n involved too.
for u, anth's possible.

today went to tanglin with bros n stead n godmummy[HAHA]
inbetween while waiting accompanied popo[not mine] to see doctor
bros hv to go court on mon n i'll be going as well ><
hope nth will happen bahs. dont want anyone to be in trouble
pray for the best :D

i really pray and hope for brig n burn
hope nth will happen, n their sentence will be light.
hey bros, thou yall will nv ever read this,
jiayous n dont worry okays?
u know tt wdv happens, all of us are here kay
no matter what, our big family wont leave de.
it makes me sad to see u guys upset ya?

nth will happen de..

i miss the past but i wont look back
the present's a gift even if its not smooth sailing
the future's a blank n its up to me to write my story

whether its about studies, friendships, love, family
its all the same right from the start i guess...
each decision i make determines what happens.
i need to stop looking back n look to whats going on now n what will happen in future.

i pray for the best.

iloveyou.even in the future when we have all moved on which i guess we will,
there will always be a space in my heart for u. cos u r the first one i truly loved.

im feelin very lost.
i feel like im in the same nightmare as i was last yr
onli that the ppl, the friends n classmates who were alongside me last yr
most of them this yr are just not there anymore
i feel so cut off from the hc ppl
n i dno i feel like a totally failure
i know im not going to do well in my Os
i studied b4 i left for hk
but now tt im back i hv forgotten everth
i just feel so useless
n now when i study i cnnt absorb anth
i dno what m i going to do luh i feel so tired
plus i hv other things to worry abt
things i cant tell anyone abt
i dont dare to tell those closest to me either
im just hoping its nothing serious
i honestly pray and hope so
i need to find the light luh.

and to you
i dno what i feel towards u honestly
i really dno if its gone or just tt i accept n understand what u told me
but hais i dno la
sigh i guess i shud not think so much

orhorhhh someone's reading my blogg
i shall lock everth from now on haha!
jkjk thanks for helping me take out hair extensions leh
pain lor haha i sue u then u know lol

i think i understand what u said in our chat le
i really think i can bahs so no worries [:
no heart breaks, no heart aches.
but either way u still mean alot to me okays? [:
i hope we can be close close friends again like my brother liddat hehe

i flying off on sunday le whoo!
cant wait sia but i havent packed my luggage
i hv no idea what to pack zzz ]:
i shall come back n blog ltr cos now i want to go n eat hehe

I MISS YENJIN N TIANHUI N SHEENA N HUIYING N JOLEEN ]: