crashinggtears

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:06:57 GMT

SUPER HAPPY TODAY!!!!

msged baby during work n he said he miss me
he super long nv ever like tt talk to me le :x
haha i was like wondering if is really he type de n it is! hehe <3
went to work then meeet baby n co. aft tt drink
now here i am at the lan shop with him.

i conclude im not suited to play lan
wa lao i play l4d i fcking scared sia. i dont dare move forward cos i scared see zombie ><
so hor i shud not play lan. come lan is also to do other things online. HAHA
waste money waste time sacrifice sleep =.=

got work ltr lors. lucky is at 4 if not i die die big time man haha
not enough slp cos ytd ton with brig and clement liaos zzzzz
tonight must go home sleep bah so tt thurs go work
then at night celebrate pris n david bdae i wont be lethargic or what ^^

ok i shall go back to trying to play l4d. hope my heart dont fall out :/

BABY I LOVE YOU

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 13:23:10 GMT

haha its been a month or so since i blogged! :/
baby was telling me to go home ytd n blog since i had nth to do
then i ask him what to blog abt he tell me blog abt how short n fat i am.
sucker ttm right! zzzz but i still love him loads haha

truckloads has happened since the last time i posted. sighhh
i dont wana comment so much on whats happened but its been a whirlwind
oh mann >< i seriously screwed up my life la
anw at least things r on track right now haha!!
nafa application almost complete. now i onli need to get thru the audition *crosses fingers*
other its nyp n business management for me :/ dno if tts gd or not
but what can i do lor. also fixed liao ]:

working now bahs. money ftw okay! i want moolahhhhh
no money no honey ]:

hahaha life's prettyokay.
cut down on the drinking n smoking by quite a bit so hopefully b4 sch starts i will stop everth
i know i can :/
hope so!! anw i miss everyone at hc!! more than u guys wil ever know cos u guys carried on the dreams i had for myself

owells life's too short for regrets
but its onli from regrets where we'll experience and learn
life will get better i believe
i'll get better :D

lastly i love my big fatty baby!!
i will try to give u all my trust okay. like every bit of it
u said u will prove to everyone tt i nv made a mistake in choosing u
hope u will keep ur word cos i still hv hopes towards u
i love u

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 15:10:03 GMT

how to believe u?
now u tell me u still love her but its fading
u onli love me...
but then u tell me again ur r/s with her is tt of gan laopo and gan laogong
then what do u want me to say
nxt time if i find out u anyhow msg her
i cnnt complain or what cos yall hv tt status what

i dont know anymore.
just sent u a msg asking if u can stop hving tt r.s with her.
if ur ans is no, i wont say anth
i will wait till ur bdae is over.
i will give u a happy 18th bdae, then its over bet us.

i cnnt stand the fear anymore.
u dont know how scared i am on the inside
tts cos u matter so much to me
but i get this kind of thing.
dont blame me for thinking too much
i dont think im unreasonable in this matter
cos u cant expect me to trust u.

dont break my heart.

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 18:46:38 GMT

you are my baby love!!
baby thank you for everth
n thankyou stead, heidy n bren.
last night i was so happy
cos my wish sorta came true
u guys from different sides mixed together
for once i could spend time with all the different ppl i love
sth i could nv ever do in the past.
hearing n seeing acceptance
i nv thought it would happen
i really hope things will turn for the better
even if it doesnt im content.
ytd even thou dear made me angry
im so happy...
dear, ur actions really show me
my wait was not in vain
u showed me u really care for me
im sry for my actions in the past
i promise i will not repeat it de
4 months plus and counting
dear dear, we'll count up to a yr n 2 n on n on okay?
i love u n i wont let u go
others can say what they want
but i know it in my heart

MUACKS BABY

and i hope heidy n bren n stead cheers up.
i feel bad tt i cnnt help anyone of them sighh...
m i such a bad friend? damn failure luh...
i love u guys mann n i think burn's upset too
hpoe everyone take care and things turn for the better.

life's better i suppose [:

Sun, 24 Jan 2010 16:31:25 GMT

u arent u anymore...
uve changed to someone i dno
u r showing ur true colours to me
r u still the dear dear i once knew?
i doubt so...
shud i still hang on?
im scared...

tell me what to do.

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 08:20:35 GMT

im sry cos ive disappointed everyone with my results.

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 14:28:33 GMT

leaving for china soon. going to the airport le

i miss my dear dear alr ]:

how sia? haiss... dear dear ah, dont dowan me when i come back leh

must take care of urself okay?

i think u will see this halfway when i overseas bah

dear dear must eat n slp well k

ur back pain must take care hor?

i love u, i oso hope u'll think of me everyday

i'll msg n call when i can.

dear dear wo ai ni hen duo hen duo

muacks baby.

take care everyone, stead, heidy, kk, ping blahblahblah.

love u ppl!

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 13:14:15 GMT

whoo
ive quit thai express le ^^
going overseas to china nxt week for about a week
i dont wana go lor
i will miss my babyyy ]: and my steadd and my sisterss
ltr i come back baby dowan me how!
but he say u wont be like that de haha

i will back to get my pay n allowance n lotsa money for shopping!! hahah xD
then cny will be coming and i hv moolah cos got angbao.
butbut cny first day is on 14/2.
deardear cnnt spend vday ]: irritating lorrr blehss

k la i super super sleepy now
im gna go get some sleep then wait for deardear come back from chu shi
i love my dear dear! h.e <3

sometimes i wish ur temper wasnt like that
sometimes i wish u can understand me so that we wont hv so much conflict
i dont even know if u'll miss me when im gone
cos aft all u do hv the other half of urs, not just me...
haiss i'll mis u so so so much u know
i'll make use of what time i hv left to pei u
i love u baby. always <3

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 11:11:23 GMT

long time since i blogged.

THANKYOU ALL FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES. xD

spent a pretty quiet and happening birthday with the ppl i love.
thankyou yushi,heidy,xinyi for the presents. i love them ^^

most imptly THANKYOU DEAR DEAR for being there with me on my bdae, nv leaving me...
thou these 3 days quite abit happened, i just wana say, i really love u.
i know u do too, i can tell from ur actions and stuff, n im really sry...
i promise i'll do wdv i can to make u feel better, thou u hurt me n broke my heart
i know its all just cos u feel guilty n i dont want tt.
deardear, rmb, u r the onli one i want okay? its not tt i put too much into every r/s i hv, but i feel tt u really wont let me down de.
muacks dear dear. i love u always!forever my cute n handsome baby. <3

stead n heidy, thanks alot!
u 2 hv alwas been with me, especially during this period. words cnnt describe how thankful i feel to hv u 2 sisters around.
thankyou for accepting me for who i am n trying to change me for the better. i love u 2 loads. rmb yall are always the most impt sisters to me okay. u 2 are like my own family alr.

and to the LIM family haha. the 3 bros. yall are really like my own family le. n burn, thankyou for saying yall will always be there. i know tt u guys will always be my bros. n boii, thou u r right to say tt nth would hv happened if i listened to u but nvm. thanks anw, for comforting me. feels good to be aorund yall.

ok so now im full of injuries >( i need to like recuperate. i cant straighten my back or walk properly lor n my hands all hurt. power la ]: haisss but nvm. im not angry or what, it shows me how much u care. muacks.

AYE BITCH
FUCK OFF FROM MY LIFE FROM NOW ON.
THE ONLI REASON WHY IM NOT DOING ANTH TO U IS COS OF DEAR DEAR OKAY.
I WILL TOLERATE U FOR HIM.
BUT JUST DONTTTTTTTTTT MAKE ME EXPLODE ONE MORE TIME OKAY
MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE.

PISS OFF.

life's a bitch. but tts what makes it beautiful.
no one's perfect, neither is life but flaws make it more natural.
just take a step back whenever u can.
the sky's still blue and the sun's still shining.
nothing will get me down okay. [:

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 08:49:21 GMT

its ~~not~~ okay if we arent tgether
i'll ~~not~~ be fine

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 06:52:52 GMT

BF's SHOULD DO.

☆~ When she stares at your mouth = "Kiss her"
☆~ When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you = "LET HER BEAT AND ACT PAINFUL"
☆~ When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tuff = "Kiss her and tell her you love her"
☆~ When she's quiet = "Ask her what's wrong"
☆~ When she ignores you = "Give her your attention"
☆~ When you see her at her worst = "Tell her she's beautiful"
☆~ When you see her start crying = "Just hold her and don't say a word"
☆~ When she steals your favorite pillow = "Let her keep it and slp with it for a night"
☆~ When she doesn't answer for a long time = "Reassure her that everything is okay"
☆~ When she looks at you with doubt = "Back yourself up"
☆~ When she says that she likes you = "SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN U COULD UNDERSTAND!"
☆~ When she looks at you in your eyes = "Don't look away until she does"
☆~ When she says it's over = "She still wants you to be hers"
☆~ When she reposts this = "She wants you to read it"
☆~ Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything
☆~ Call her at 12:00am on her birthday/anniversary dates to tell her you love her

☆~ Treat her like she's all that matters to you
☆~ Stay up all night with her when she's sick
☆~ Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid

darling, i realize u do do alot of whats stated up there...

iloveyou(:

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 19:43:29 GMT

life's been a whirlwind since Os ended
started work, oh come visit at paragon thai express if u r free okay :D
then everyone started work,
meet dear dear everyday unless he chases me home :x
blahblahblahhh
been super tired cos work is really draining me out
but nvm at least get work experience bah
then pei ah k n dear they all chu shi...

my onli regret is im not meeting yushi they all...
i really miss them, all the jokes, the nonsense
it used to be an everyday affair
but i guess when our hearts belong to different people
some situations n circumstances just cant be avoided...

been feeling quite heart pain for dear dear cos of the sai guan stuff
is like i see him chu shi i can tell he super happy
i really wish i can do sth for him but i cant...
i can onli listen, try make him happy n not angry...

thou sometimes i really wish he belongs to me solely, i cant expect much
he really treat me very gd n care for me... i know this sounds like what im saying when i was wirth brian
but its a whole different story... its true...

dear dear
we tgether for 2 months plus le
every single moment spent is happiness
althou we quarrel, we fight, we ignore each other
but its okay cos in the end i know we mean alot to each other
i will use time to prove to u im the one...
i wont ask u to make a choice now, its too harsh cos u hv alot of burdens
i can wait, cos i know ur heart is true to me...
i love you... i cant wait for our third month :D
muacks baby

heidy is coming back tmr whoohoo
n oh oh my bdae is coming
but i dont think dear dear or anyone will celebrate for me bahh...
i dno... i just hope to be able to spend with the ppl i love...

okay i need to slp le. ltr still working ]:
byeeee

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 22:54:51 GMT

today i really learnt sth

ppl who hv 2 faces change their tone so fast
i shudnt be so trusting
i need to judge ppl as time pass n not give my all at first
once the damage is done, dont even think of steppin in pass my wall again

sisters will always be there, not guys
afterall all guys want is onli sex n nth else
sisters/Most friends are there when u need them

thankyou to yushi, liping n heidy,
yushi for nv forsaking me n always assuring n proving to me u'll always be there
u r really my best sister n i cld give up anth for u as long as its within my means
heidy for being ther n talking to me
we share quite a bit in common n it always is comforting to talk to u
u always encourage n support me de ty so much what would i do without u
liping for being there for me during this period of time
thou u wont see this but u this sister i really boh wei gong
u stupid ah lian, thanks alot for everything man, u r one sister tts so worth it

thank you sisters i love u ppl alot alot.

hubert
today i realised what i meant to u
i know cos of my mental state i put alot of pressure on u
i know i really gave u too much to handle when u hv alot on ur plate
i guess its over for now. i wont contact u de.. mayb aft my Os u will contact me i dno
but right now at this moment i hv had enough.
u hv proven enough to me and shown tt perhaps u dont love me enough?
its okay, thanks to u today i was strong. i did not cry when i deleted ur number n messages n changed my wallpaper
ive grown again so thank you.
i will keep the memories u gave me deep in my heart
i still love u but i guess we arent meant to be bah
mayb in future we will make more happy memories
but right now lets just lead our own lives. my current life is not going to hv u.
take care n all the best. i love u deardear.

ok im tired aft everth. Os is in a day n i can go eat shit alr.
no use crying over spilt milk, can onli do my best now.

shoutout to HC ppl: im missing u guys so so so so much. so many of u i wana see n give yall a hug. i'll see yall soon. promise.

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 08:28:45 GMT

baby!!dearr <3
thou recently we hv been quarrelling almost everyday
but i know its all alright when we make up
especially last night, when i was just abt to fall aslp,
u said to me u loved me. its times like tt i know its all worth
i love u so so so so much
i know u aren the best, i prob can find someone better
but ahhh i know u care n stuff n u always think for me
i promise i wont take fruit anymore, i will listen to u, i will onli drink if u r there, i will improve my attitude de.
i cant afford to lose u >< everytime i take fruit all my illusions are all abt u in trouble, i dream also abt losing u de ><
deardear wo ai ni! even if u dont read this its okayy!
i cant wait to see u tonight!! when i see u im gna give u a hug and tell u i love u!!

&btw HAPPY GRADUATION TO DEARDEAR<3, AH PING, PRIS, JUN GUANG :D

im missing u guys so so so much
im sry i cant come back for now
there's too many complications
but i promise i'll try to find some time out
sometimes when im in tpy i feel like going to find yall so much n give yall a hug.
sighh why hv things turn out like tt
no matter what, sisters/brothers always <3

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 18:11:26 GMT

yayy at macs now with friends.
today nv study la...die liao lor ><
nxt week on tues and thurs got sci practicals.
eh anyone got idea what happens during written practicals must tell me kays?

recently keep dreaming of very weird stuff
and all got to do with one person tmd
really hope wdv im worrying abt wont happen
ltr happen i can go n die whoohoo

ok mr chick wants to use the com. BYEBYE

i shall blog tmr.

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 12:51:47 GMT

history's repeating itself
onli tt making a different decision dont seem to hv a better outcome
im so tired of everth
but u mean sth to me alr
im just scared its the same scenario.

i dont know anymore.
but im not playing with u

hving to stick by my own decision..

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 16:11:55 GMT

tmr going to court
hope everth will be ok
19 aug will come really fast
hais feeling pretty down now..
not gna be used to it
stay happy bahs [:

closing this chapter in my life;hurts

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 18:46:43 GMT

i don wana be lame.
u want read my blog u read
i want read ur blog u oso cnnt stop me
go lock ur blog la -.-
irritating like hell/
dont disrupt my peaceful life

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 14:34:22 GMT

u dno how much it hurt my heart to see u like that
i could not help nor do anth to make u feel better
i wish i could hv done sth more so i wont be so useless
i will nv leave ur side no matter what happens
thou i cannt always be there physically but rest assured
i'll always be there emotionally and mentally.
birlydttyanwicya.

hey brig, thou u wont ever read this. dont sad le kayys!
im sry i cnnt help u oso. i just want u to know tt all of us always here.
wdv u asked me i do i will de la :D

i wont agree to it just for the sake of not being alone or wad not.
but sometimes i just want to cos it hurts a little more each time
i will just try n swallow it in but i cant do it tt well i guess..

oral down.
i hv no idea wth i was telling the examiner haha
owells go mee xD
n ive been feeling so tired recentl for no reason
this sucks i swear ><
no mattter how much i slp, no matter whether its alot or little bit
i still feel tired lors hais
met up with gwee for awhile today
did retarded things haha but i dont care la haha
hope u r feeling better dear
i love u many!!

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 08:27:52 GMT

i thought things thru
mayb im just being touchy and cranky
cos ive been really stressed up over things
i just need to relax n try hard
i'll make it thru bah

thanks yingci for the nice chat ytd
thanks joey for always supporting me :D
thanks ks for trying to console me haha!
THANKYOU EVERYONE FOR MAKING ME FEEL SO HAPPY WHEN I GO BACK. I LOVE U PPL!

N XINYU HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN. U RUINED MY CAKE ]:

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 15:47:20 GMT

im tired today
but the visit to hwachong did me wonders
thou i did cry n stuff our of frustration n stuff
it really did me good
to visit the ppl who were always there for me
n the thing is thou they r all busy n everth
i know for sure they are there rooting for me
tts the bond i hv with my friends there i guess
the surprised n happy smiles, the warm hugs.
i can nv ask for more..

HEY HC PPL
going back today made me realize how shagged everyone looks n stuff
pls take care of urselves okay? saddens me to see tt!
dont worry abt me if u are cos i can take care of myself i promise
love u ppl!!!

stead
i dont know whats going on anymore
u say i dont think much for u but im really trying
i dno what to do alr luhh
just want to say wdv happens
i love you. tt wont change

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 18:54:59 GMT

honestly speaking, u make me feel like puking sometimes.
really, like right now, i could most probably hurl at the thought

i honestly hv no idea how im supposed to feel towards you

dont think its you, unless u actl think tt u hv done sth. happy feeling guilty then

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 17:49:00 GMT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

okay tts better

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 17:39:48 GMT

u know i reall hope ppl who hv no involvement in my life whatsoever dont read my blog
ppl who are added as friends on lj n ppl whom i know im okay with tt, m updates are for yall anw
but SOME ppl who i do not want any involvement nor who are of my concern pls just stay away
keep ur comments to urself as well even if u want to come here n read abt what i say
my blog, my stage, my space. fuck off if u not happy with what i say.dont even need to come here ty.

boii! i need to ask u sth :D

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 17:35:52 GMT

u always wondered why the 3 of us like to stick to u
i dont know about V but i guess for L and me,
we love you alot, we accept u for who u r, and we understand n accept ur teachings
n thou ur ways are diff from others, u do care for us and we know it.I know it.
the onli diff between L and me is tt she is totally receptive to u
m character is such tt im stubborn n i just wasnt tt "guai"

i choose to stay nxt to u cos i know u care, u make me feel very safe n loved
thou sometimes i dont agree, i choose to listen most of the time.
no one else can give me tt feelings tts why im still here..
but now, realizing tt it can no longer go on hurts alot.
it just makes me wish to see u, to look at u, even just for awhile.

do u rmb when u called me in kolkata n called me ur laopo last yr?
do u rmb how many msges u sent me telling me u missed me?
do u rmb telling me u thought i was cute aft reading the letters i wrote to u in kolkata?
do u rmb changing my msn pm when i lent u my com to "she is loved"?
do u rmb staying up to wait for me to touch down from the plane?
do u rmb leaving the letter on my com for me saying out ur feelings?
so many things u did for me..so many memories of everth
but i dont know if u ever rmb any one of them. but i do.

these 2 mths or so, i hv been learning to be independent n im succeeding.
not hving u, not hving yushi tt much to be with me, i survived thru it.
i really grew up alot these few months and everth thanks to u <3
this time, aft seeing it n feeling it for myself, i know its really really over.
this time im really burying all the memories and everth in my heart.

u are still the boiiboii and dear dear tt i love, to me u r always my laogong.
special place in my heart for u tt cnnt be removed.
in time to come when i hv other stead, they will hv to accept i cnnt cut off contact from u
u r no matter what, the guy, the one who i really and truly love.
u may hv brought me much pain n hurt but tt cnnt erase the happy times.

i love you as u know. and i'll alwas be here for u.
movin on is hard but i'll do it, cos i know u dont want me stuck n involved too.
for u, anth's possible.

today went to tanglin with bros n stead n godmummy[HAHA]
inbetween while waiting accompanied popo[not mine] to see doctor
bros hv to go court on mon n i'll be going as well ><
hope nth will happen bahs. dont want anyone to be in trouble
pray for the best :D